Smart Talking Parrot

"Pirate"

In a restaurant one day, a pirate was talking to
the waiter. The waiter asked him, "Why do you
have a peg leg?"

The pirate answered, "Back when I was sailing
the seas, a big shark noticed me swimming one
day and bit off me leg."

"Well, then how did you get the hook?" the waiter
asked, pointing to the place where the pirate's left
hand used to be.

The pirate responded, "Well, me crew and myself
were engaged in a rough battle one day and me
hand was cut off by a slimy coward's sword."

The waiter looked at the hook for a moment. "Well
now I have to ask how you got the eye patch."

The pirate snarled, "I looked at a gull flying overhead
in the harbor one day and it took a dump right in me
eye."

The waiter was puzzled by this last explanation.
"How would that make you get an eye patch?"

The pirate responded, "Well, first day with me hook."

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"Smart Talking Parrot"

A lady is walking down the street to work and sees
a parrot in a pet store. She stops to admire the bird.
The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."

Well, the lady is furious! She storms past the store
to her work.

On the way home she saw the same parrot in the
window and the parrot upon seeing her says, "Hey
lady, you are really ugly."

She was incredibly ticked now. The next day on the
way to work she saw the same parrot and once
again it said, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."

The lady was so furious that she stormed into the
store and threatened to sue the store and have the
bird killed. The store manager apologized profusely
and promised the bird wouldn't say it again.

When the lady walked past the store after work the
parrot said to her, "Hey lady."

She paused and said, "Yes?"

The bird said, "You know."
Received on Thu Feb 19 11:10:14 2004