The Puppies

"Super Bowl Report"

As reported in our Jan 30, 2004 News Sun paper:

Personnel Experts are predicting that the Super
Bowl XXXVIII face-off between the New England
Patriots & the Carolina Panthers could cost
employers up to $821 million in lost wages! The
estimate is based on workers talking about the
game for 10 minutes each day for five days.

*****************************

"The Puppies"

A client brought a litter of golden retriever puppies
to my veterinary clinic for inoculations and worming.
As the look-alike pups squirmed over and under
one another in their box, I realized it would be
difficult to tell the treated ones from the rest.

I turned on the water faucet, wet my fingers,
and moistened each dog's head when I had
finished a treatment.

After the fourth puppy, I noticed my hitherto
talkative client had grown silent. As I sprinkled
the last pup's head, the woman leaned forward
and she whispered, "I didn't know they had to
be baptized."

*****************************

"Smart Dog"

A large dog walks into a butcher shop, carrying
a purse in its mouth. He puts the purse down and
sits in front of the meat case.

"What is it, boy?" the butcher jokingly asks. "Want
to buy some meat?"

"Woof!" barks the dog.

"Hmm," says the butcher. "What kind? Liver, bacon,
steak..."

"Woof!" interrupts the dog.

"And how much steak? Half a pound, one pound..."

"Woof!" signals the dog.

The amazed butcher wraps up the meat and finds
the money in the dog's purse. As the dog leaves,
the butcher decides to follow. The dog enters an
apartment house, climbs to the third floor, and begins
scratching at a door. With that, the door swings open
and an angry man starts shouting at the dog.

"Stop!" yells the butcher. "He's the most intelligent
animal I've ever seen!"

"Intelligent?" counters the man. "This is the third time
this week he's forgotten his key!"
Received on Mon Feb 2 12:36:27 2004