Old Computer Terms

"Old Computer Terms"

BIT: A word used to describe computers, as in "Our
son's computer cost quite a bit."

BOOT: What your friends give you because you spend
too much time bragging about your computer skills.

BUG: What your eyes do after you stare at the big mean
computer screen for more than 15 minutes. Also: what
computer magazine companies do to you after they get
your name on their mailing list.

CHIPS: The fattening, non-nutritional food computer
users eat to avoid having to leave their keyboards for
meals.

COPY: What you have to do during school tests because
you spend too much time at the computer and not enough
time studying.

CURSOR: What you turn into when you can't get your
computer to perform, as in "You $#% computer!"

DISK: What goes out in your back after bending over a
computer keyboard for seventeen hours at a clip.

DUMP: The place all your former hobbies wind up soon
after you install your computer.

ERROR: What you made the first time you walked into
a computer showroom to "just look."

EXPANSION UNIT: The new room you have to build on
to your home to house your computer and all its peripherals.

FILE: What your secretary can now do to her nails six and
a half hours a day, now that the computer does her day's
work in 30 minutes.

FLOPPY: The condition of a constant computer user's
stomach due to lack of exercise and a steady diet of junk
food (see Chips").

HARDWARE: Tools, such as lawn mowers, rakes and other
heavy equipment you haven't laid a finger on since getting
your computer.

IBM: The kind of missile your family members and friends
would like to drop on your computer so you'll pay attention
to them again.

MENU: What you'll never see again after buying a computer
because you'll be too poor to eat in a restaurant.

MONITOR: Often thought to be a word associated with
computers, this word actually refers to those obnoxious
kids who always want to see your hall pass at school.

PROGRAMS: Those things you used to look at on your
television before you hooked your computer up to it.

RETURN: What a lot of people do with their computers
after only a week and a half.

TERMINAL: A place where you can find buses, trains and
really good deals on hot computers.

WINDOW: What you heave the computer out of after you
accidentally erase a program that took you three days
to set up.
Received on Tue Aug 31 08:08:10 2004