The Talking Radio

"The Talking Radio"
(A little dated but still cute - LadyHawke)

A lady bought a new Lexus. Cost a bundle. Two days later,
she brought it back, complaining that the radio was not working.

"Madam," said the sales manager, "the audio system in this car is
completely automatic. All you need to do is tell it what you want to
listen to, and you will hear exactly that!"

She drives out, somewhat amazed and a little confused. She
looked at the radio and said "Nelson." The radio responded,
"Ricky or Willie?" Soon, she was speeding down the highway
to the sounds of "On the road again..." The lady was astounded.
If she wanted Beethoven, that's what she got. If she wanted Nat
King Cole, she got it.

Suddenly, at a traffic light, her light turned green and she pulled
out. Off to her right, out of the corner of her eye, she saw a small
sports utility vehicle speeding toward her. She swerved and
narrowly missed a head-on collision."

"!*$)$#@($) A#$HOLE," she muttered. And, from the radio....

"Live from Afghanistan an interview with Osama Bin Laden ..."

*************************************

"Nuns on the Road"

A group of nuns were travelling in a car when it had
a flat tire. They got out and try to change it, but
being rather unworldly, they don't really know how.
Luckily, a truck came along and the driver offered to
change it for them. They gratefully accepted.

As the trucker jacked up the car, it slipped from
the jack and he yelled, "Son-of-a-bitch!"

The eldest nun said to him, "That is not nice language.
We understand that you are upset, but you mustn't use
such language."

"Sorry, Sister", he said, and tried again.

Again it slipped, this time almost smashing his
fingers. "Son-of- a-b*tch," he yelled again.

"Please, don't use such language. If changing our tire
is causing you to do so, it would be better if you didn't
help us."

"But I get so upset, and it just comes out."

"Well," said the nun, "say something else when you get
upset, something like, 'Sweet Jesus, help me.'"

So the trucker tried to jack up the car again. And again
it slipped. He started to say "Son.." but he corrected himself
and said, "Sweet Jesus, help me." At that, the car
miraculously rose into the air all by itself.

The nuns looked at the car in wonder, exclaiming in
unison, "Son-of-a-b*tch!"
Received on Fri Aug 13 12:53:26 2004