Newlywed Problems

"Ground for Divorce"

This guy called up his lawyer to tell him he was filing
for divorce, and the lawyer inquired as to the grounds
for the suit.

"I've got grounds, all right," sputtered the irate husband.
"Can you believe my wife told me I'm a lousy lover?"

"That's why you're suing?" pursued his lawyer.

"Of course not. I'm suing because she knows the
difference."

***************************

"Newlywed Problems"

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day
approached, they grew apprehensive because they each
had a problem they had never before shared with
anyone, not even each other.

The Groom-to-be (overcoming his fear) decided to ask
his father for advice. "Father, I am deeply concerned
about the success of my marriage. I love my fiancee,
very much, but you see, I have very smelly feet. I'm
afraid that my future wife will be put off by them."

"No problem," said dad, "all you have to do is wash
your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks,
even to bed."

Well, to the Groom-to-be, this seemed a workable
solution.

The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take
her problem up her mom. "Mom, when I wake up in the
morning my breath is truly awful."

"Honey," her mother consoled, "everyone has bad breath
in the morning."

"No, you don't understand. My morning breath is so bad,
I'm afraid that my new husband will not want to sleep
in the same room with me."

Her mother said simply, "Try this. In the morning, get
straight out of bed, and head for the bathroom and
brush your teeth. The key is not to say a word until
you've brushed your teeth. Not a word."

Well, it was certainly worth a try.

The loving couple were finally married in a beautiful
ceremony. Not forgetting the advice each had received,
he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning
silence, they managed quite well.

That is, until about 6 months later.

Shortly before dawn, the husband wakes with a start to
find that one of his socks had come off. Fearful of the
consequences, he frantically searches the bed.

This, of course, woke his wife and without thinking,
she immediately asks, "What on earth are you doing?"

"Oh, no!" he gasped in shock, "You've swallowed my
sock!"
Received on Sun Aug 1 02:42:53 2004