Subject: Newlywed Problem
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Thu May 29 2003 - 10:42:37 EDT
"Young Couple"
A young couple got married and left on their
honeymoon. When they got back, the bride
immediately called her mother. Her mother asked,
"How was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, Mum," she replied, "the honeymoon was
wonderful! So romantic..."
Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, Mum, as
soon as we returned Sam started using the
most horrible language...things I'd never heard
before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words!
You've got to come get me and take me home....
Please Mum!"
"Darling," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me,
what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, Mum," wept the
daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too
awful! Come get me, please!"
"Darling, you must tell me what has you so upset.
Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mum, they were
words like dust, wash, iron, cook!"
******************************
"Newlywed Problem"
A young couple decided to wed. As the big day
approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had
a problem they had never before shared with
anyone, not even each other.
The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided
to ask his father for advice. "Father," he said, "I
am deeply concerned about the success of my
marriage."
His father replied, "Don't you love this girl?"
"Oh yes, very much," he said," but you see, I have
very smelly feet, and I'm afraid that my fiance will
be put off by them."
"No problem," said dad, "all you have to do is wash
your feet as often as possible,and always wear
socks, even to bed." Well, to him this seemed a
workable solution.
The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to
take her problem up with her mom." Mom," she
said, "When I wake up in the morning my breath
is truly awful."
"Honey," her mother consoled, "everyone has bad
breath in the morning."
"No, you don't understand,. My morning breath is
so bad, I'm afraid that my fiance will not want to
sleep in the same room with me."
Her mother said simply, "Try this. In the morning,
get straight out of bed, and head for the kitchen
and make breakfast. While the family is busy
eating, move on to the bathroom and brush your
teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you've
brushed your teeth."
"I shouldn't say good morning or anything?" the
daughter asked.
"Not a word," her mother affirmed.
"Well, it's certainly worth a try," she thought.
The loving couple were finally married. Not forgetting
the advice each had received, he with his perpetual
socks and she with her morning silence, they managed
quite well. That is, until about six months later. Shortly
before dawn one morning, the husband wakes with a
start to find that one of his socks had come off. Fearful
of the consequences, he frantically searches the bed.
This, of course, wakes his bride and without thinking,
she asks, "What on earth are you doing?"
"Oh, my," he replies, "you've swallowed my sock!"
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