Subject: On The House
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon Mar 10 2003 - 10:18:47 EST
"On The House"
A guy walks into a bar and notices he's the only
one there, apart from the barkeep, who's on the
phone. The barkeep signals him that he'll be with
him in a minute.
The guy nods and bellies up to the bar to wait.
Suddenly, he hears a little voice say,
"Hey, you're looking pretty sharp today. New suit?"
The guy looks around but can't see anyone else in
the place. He hears the voice again.
"Seriously... THAT is a fabulous tie, chum."
The guy looks around again and still doesn't see
anyone.
"Hello?" he asks. "Is someone speaking to me?"
"You bet! I just had to say you look like a million
bucks... Have you lost weight?" A bunch of other
tiny voices suddenly rose in agreement.
The guy realizes now that these voices are coming
from a bowl of beer nuts on the bar in front of him.
He stares at them as the barkeep finally hangs up
and comes to serve his only customer.
"What'll you have?" asks the barkeep.
"What?... Oh, a pint of ale, I guess", mutters the
guy, still staring at the nuts. He finally looks up
at the barkeep drawing his pint.
"What's the deal with these nuts?" he asks.
The barkeep brings the guy's pint over and sets it
before him. "Oh, the nuts? They're complimentary!"
******************************
"Soda Crackers"
During my stay at an expensive hotel in New York City,
I woke up in the middle of the night with an upset
stomach. I called room service and ordered some
soda crackers.
When I looked at the charge slip, I was furious. I called
room service and raged, "I know I'm in a luxury hotel,
but $11.50 for six crackers is ridiculous!"
"The crackers are complimentary," the voice at the
other end cooly explained........."I believe you are
complaining about your room number sir."
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