Subject: A Woman and A Policeman
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Thu Jun 19 2003 - 10:07:40 EDT
"The Driver"
The car sped off the highway, went through the
guardrail, rolled down a cliff, bounced off a tree
and finally shuddered to a stop.
A passing motorist, who had witnessed the entire
accident, helped the miraculously unharmed driver
out of the wreck.
"Good Lord, mister," he gasped, "are you drunk?"
"Of course," said the man, brushing the dirt
from his suit. "What the hell do you think I am...
a bloody stunt driver?!"
***************************
"A Woman and A Policeman"
A woman driver is pulled over by a policeman:
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: May I see your license please?
Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Woman: Lost it for driving drunk four times.
>Officer: I see...May I see your vehicle registration
papers please?
Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the
trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs
away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes
5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly
approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, would you step out of your vehicle
please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have
stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of
your car please?
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing
but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
(The first officer is quite stunned.)
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do
not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out
a clutch purse and hands it to the second officer.
The second officer snaps opens the clutch purse
and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers
told me you didn't have a license, that you stole
this car, and that you murdered and hacked up
the owner.
Woman: I'll bet the lying SOB told you I was
speeding, too.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Tue Jul 01 2003 - 00:00:02 EDT