Subject: Rules Of Life
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon Feb 17 2003 - 03:27:33 EST
"Rules Of Life"
1. A person with a tidy desk is doing no work.
2. Builders' quotes belong to the 'magical
realism' realm of life. They are complete
fiction.
3. Bad weather reports are more likely to be
accurate than good weather reports.
4. If you are a woman, any man you meet
after the age of 45 will have a fatal flaw.
5. Never trust a man with a ponytail.
6. The woman on the aeroplane with 3
children is heading for the seat beside you.
7. The way a man drives tells you a lot
about how he makes love.
8. You always have less money in your bank
account than you think you do.
9. The one time you put your feet up is the
one time the boss will walk into the office.
11. Most things in life -- other than clothes --
are easier to get into that to get out of.
12. Always get directions before you go out.
The worst scenario is when you think you
know where someone lives.
13. When you cross a one-way road, always
look both ways.
14. Rather never than late, particularly with
deadlines. "I don't want it brilliant, I want it
Monday" has been the motto of many editors.
15. People who say "I wish I had time to read"
are not readers.
16. Never take out life insurance - you won't be
around to enjoy it.
17. Never trust anyone who tells you too much
about themselves, particularly at a first meeting.
18. Never bad-mouth anyone's former partner.
Next week they'll be back together and you'll feel
a fool and/or loose a friend.
19. In the office, don't ask difficult questions after
4 pm on Friday.
20. Flattery is a form of abuse.
10. Ugly plants grow much faster and better
than beautiful ones.
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