Subject: The Pessimist and a Dog
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Wed Feb 12 2003 - 08:14:11 EST
"Teaching Swimming"
A member of the Country Club asked the
lifeguard how he might go about teaching
a young lady to swim.
"It takes considerable time and technique."
replied the guard. "First you must take her
into the water, then place one arm about her
waist,hold her tightly, then take her right
arm and raise it very slowly..."
"This is certainly most helpful." said the
member. "I know that my sister will appreciate
it."
"Your sister?" said the lifeguard. "In that case,
just push her into the deep end of the pool.
She'll learn in a hurry."
*************************
"The Pessimist and a Dog"
An optimist sees the best in the world, while a
pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds
the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can
only find the negative in the positive.
For example, an avid duck hunter was in the market
for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found
a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a
duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his
friends would ever believe him.
He decided to try to break the news to a friend of
his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt
with him and his new dog.
As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by.
They fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and
jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink
but instead walked across the water to retrieve the
bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This
continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog
walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.
The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but
did not say a single word.
On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did
you notice anything unusual about my new dog?"
"I sure did," responded the pessimist. "He can't swim."
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