Subject: Little Johnny's Essay
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon Feb 03 2003 - 07:08:44 EST
"Little Johnny's Essay"
One English teacher was a perfectionist and
demanded the very best of his pupils. So it was
only to be expected that he would get furious
when Little Johnny handed in a poor paper.
"This is the worst essay it has ever been my
misfortune to read," ranted the teacher. "It has
too many mistakes. I can't understand how one
person would have made all these mistakes."
"One person didn't," replied Little Johnny
defensively. "My father helped me."
*********************
"Dear Tide"
Dear Tide:
I'm writing to you to say what an excellent product
you have. I've used it since the beginning of
married life, when my mom told me it was the best.
In fact, about a month ago, while at my mother-in-
law's house, I spilled some red wine on my new
white blouse. She started to berate me about my
drinking problem. One thing lead to another and I
had a lot of her blood on my white blouse, as well.
I tried to get the stain out using her bargain detergent,
but it wouldn't come out. On my way home, I stopped
and got a jug of liquid Tide and all of the stains came
out. So well, in fact, that the DNA tests were negative!
I thank you, once again, for a great product.
Now I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people.
Dear Tide:
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