Subject: The Cats' Bill Of Rights
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sun Feb 02 2003 - 20:37:40 EST
"The Cats' Bill Of Rights"
1. Humans shall make no law respecting an
establishment of boundaries or prohibiting the
free exercise therein, or abridging the freedom
of access, or the right to peaceful assembly.
In other words: The cat is entitled to go outside
anytime s/he wants.
2. A well-carried provisional chamber, being
necessary to the fulfillment of a feline's whims,
shall not be infringed. In other words: The cat
is entitled to EAT anytime s/he wants.
3. The right of the feline to be secure in their
domain and effects against unreasonable
discomposure, shall not be violated. In other
words: The cat is entitled to SLEEP anytime
s/he wants.
4. Humans shall issue no warrants or decrees
or edicts as prescribed to the demarcation of
possessions or property which are in direct
conflict with right of life, liberty and the pursuit
of feline affirmation. In other words: The cat is
entitled to sleep ANYWHERE s/he wants.
5. The feline shall be immune to all criminal
accusations, indictments and complaints. The
accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and
impartial dismissal of any and all charges
provided said feline's compulsory right to obtain
any or all witnesses, including character witnesses,
are obtained in his favor. In other words: Cats
can do anything they want as long as they're cute.
And even if they're not.
6. Neither serfdom, vassalage, or involuntary
servitude will be tolerated, except by said cats in
proprietorship of their humans. In other words:
What I say goes.
7. No Canis familiaris shall, in time of peace or at
any other time, be quartered in any dwelling without
the consent of the potentate, nor in time of war, but
in a manner to be prescribed by sovereign. In other
words: No dogs in the house without my permission.
8. The right of the feline to be protected against
unreasonable search and seizures shall not be
breached or infringed upon at anytime or any
place. In other words: Don't disturb me when
I am sleeping.
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