Subject: Don't Mess With Becky
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sun Feb 02 2003 - 20:17:41 EST
"Don't Mess With Becky"
Becky, a little old lady went to the grocery
store and put the most expensive cat food
in her basket. She then went to the check
out counter where she told the check out
girl, "Nothing but the best for my little kitten."
The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry,
but we cannot sell you cat food without proof
that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat
food to eat, and the management wants proof
that you are buying the cat food for your
cat."
The little old lady went home, picked up her cat
and brought it back to the store.
They sold her the cat food.
The next day, the old lady went to the store and
bought 12 of the most expensive dog snacks for
each day of Christmas. Again the cashier
demanded proof that she now had a dog, claiming
that old people sometimes eat dog food.
Frustrated she went home, came back and brought
in her dog.
Becky was then sold the fancy dog snacks.
The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the
lid. The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her
finger in the hole.
The cashier said, "No, you might have a snake in there."
Becky assured her that there was nothing in the box
that would bite her. So the cashier put her finger into
the box and pulled it out and told the little old lady,
"That smells like poop."
The little old lady smiled and said sweetly, "Now, my
dear, may I please buy three rolls of toilet paper?"
**************************
"The New Doctor"
I recently picked a new primary care physician.
After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said
I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A little
concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist
asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
He asked, "Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink
beer?"
"Oh no", I replied, "I've never done either."
Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and
Bar-B-que ribs?
I said, "No, I've heard that all 'red meat' is very
unhealthy!"
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like
playing golf?" he asked.
"No, I don't," I said.
He said, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or fool
around with sexy women?"
"No," I said, "I've never done any of those things."
He looked at me and said, "Then why in hell do
you want to live to be 80??"
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