Subject: Signs You're Stressed
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon Aug 18 2003 - 02:24:09 EDT
"Signs You're Stressed"
You wonder if brewing is really a necessary
step for the consumption of coffee.
You have an irresistible urge to bite the noses
off the people you're talking to.
The SUN is too loud.
You can achieve a "runner's high" by sitting up.
You ask the drive-through attendant if you can
get your order to go.
You can see the individual air molecules vibrating.
You keep yelling, "STOP TOUCHING ME!" even
though you are the only one in the room.
Relatives that have been dead for years come
visit you and suggest that you should get some
rest.
Your heart beats in 7/8 time.
You and reality ...file for divorce.
**************************
"First Day at Work"
A young man hired by a supermarket reported
for his first day of work. The manager greeted
him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave
him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to
sweep out the store."
"But I'm a college graduate," the young man
replied indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager.
"Here, give me the broom -- I'll show you how."
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