Subject: How To Shower Like A Man
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon May 13 2002 - 06:33:43 EDT
"How To Shower Like A Man"
1. Take off clothes while sitting on edge of
bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see
wife along the way, shake wiener at her and
make "woo" sound.
3. Look at male physique in mirror and suck
in gut to see if you have pecs (no)
4. Admire size of wiener in the mirror, scratch
"privates" and smell fingers for one last whiff.
5. Get in shower. Don't bother to look for
washcloth (you don't use one).
6. Wash face, then armpits. Crack up at how
loud flatulence sounds in the shower.
7. Wash privates and surrounding area. Wash
butt, leaving hair on the soap bar.
8. Shampoo hair (do not use conditioner) Make
a shampoo Mohawk.
9. Pull back shower curtain and look at your
Mohawk in the mirror.
10. Pee in the shower.
11. Rinse off and get out of shower. Fail to notice
water on floor because you left curtain hanging
out of the tub the whole time.
12. Partially dry off. Look at self in the mirror, flex
muscles, suck in gut to see if you have pecs
(still no).
13. Leave shower curtain open, wet bath mat on
floor. Leave bathroom fan and light on.
14. Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass your wife, pull off towel, grab your
wiener, go "yeah baby" and thrust your pelvis
at her.
15. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes
to get dressed.
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