Subject: Resentment
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Fri May 10 2002 - 08:57:41 EDT
"Resentment"
A man in a bar stands up and proclaims, "All
Lawyers are A**HOLES!"
A man at the front of the bar stands up and
says, "Hey! I resent that!"
So the first man asks, "Why? Are you a lawyer?"
"NO! I'm an a**hole!"
****************************
"I Know You!"
A small town prosecuting attorney called his
first witness to the stand in a trial--a grand motherly,
elderly woman. He approached her and asked,
"Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you
Mr.Williams. I've known you since you were a
young boy. And frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on
your wife, you manipulate people and talk about
them behind their backs. You think you're a rising
big shot when you haven't the brains to realize
you never will amount to anything more than a
two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else
to do he pointed across the room and asked,
"Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known
Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used
to baby sit him for his parents. And he, too, has
been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy,
bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man
can't build a normal relationship with anyone and
his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the
entire state. Yes, I know him."
At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to
silence and called both counselors to the bench.
In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If
either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll
be in jail for contempt within 5 minutes!"
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