Subject: Glossary of the Yiddish Kind Part II
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Thu Mar 28 2002 - 19:05:39 EST
"Glossary of the Yiddish Kind"
JEWBILATION n. Pride in finding out that one's
favorite celebrity is Jewish.
JEWDO n. A traditional form of self defense
based on talking one's way out of a tight spot.
KINDERSCHLEP vb. To be called on to carpool
more children than one has fingers, in a car that
was made in Japan.
MAMATZAH BALLS n. Matzo balls that are as
good as mother used to make.
MATZILATION n. Smashing a piece of matzo to
bits while trying to butter it.
MEINSTEIN slang. "My son, the genius."
MINYASTICS n. Going to incredible lengths and
troubles to find a tenth person to complete a
minyan.
MISHPOCHAMARKS n. The assorted lipstick and
make-up stains found on one's face and collars
after kissing all one's aunts and cousins at a
reception.
RE-SHTETLEMENT n. Moving from Brooklyn to
Miami and finding all your old neighbors live in the
same condo as you.
ROSH HASHANANA n. A rock 'n roll band from
Brooklyn.
SANTASHMANTA n. The explanation Jewish children
get for when they celebrate Hannukah while the rest
of western humanity celebrates Christmas.
SCHLERM n. The wrinkled end of a Hebrew National
salami.
SCHMUCKLUCK n. Finding out one's wife became
pregnant after one had a vasectomy.
SHIKSABOB n. A special meal that Muffy O'Brien
prepares for Morris Greenblatt.
SHOFARSOGUT n. The relief you feel when after
many attempts the shofar is finally blown at the
end of Yom Kippur.
"The PRINCESS" n. "Daddy will buy it for me"
principle.
TORAHFIED n. Inability to remember one's lines
when called to read from the Torah at one's Bar
or Bat mitzvah.
TRAYFFIC ACCIDENT n. An appetizer one finds
out has pork in it after one has eaten it.
YENTILITY n. A deceptively sweet manner used to
extract information. Key phrases include, "trust me,"
"your secret is safe with me" and "if you can't tell me,
who can you tell?"
YIDENTIFY vb. To be able to determine ethnic
origins of celebrities even though their names might
be St. John, Curtis, Davis, or Taylor.
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