Subject: Employee Assessment 101
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon Jun 10 2002 - 15:17:36 EDT
"Compensation"
The boss came early in the morning one day
and found his manager kissing his secretary.
He shouted at him, "Is this what I pay you for?"
The manager replied: "No, sir, this I do free
of charge."
************************
"Prospective Employee Assessment 101"
Does your organization struggle with the problem
of properly fitting people to jobs? Here is a handy
hint for ensuring success in job placement.
Take the prospective employees you are trying
to place and put them in a room with only a
table and two chairs. Leave them alone for two
hours, without any instruction. At the end of that
time, go back and see what they are doing.
If they have taken the table apart in that time,
put them in Engineering.
If they are counting the butts in the ashtray,
assign them to Finance.
If they are screaming and waving their arms,
send them off to Manufacturing.
If they are talking to the chairs, Personnel is
a good spot for them.
If they are sleeping, they are Management material.
If they are writing up the experience, send them
to Tech Pubs.
If they don't even look up when you enter the
room, assign them to Security.
If they try to tell you it's not as bad as it looks,
send them to Marketing.
And if they've left early, put them in Sales.
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