Subject: Sales Candidate
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Tue Feb 19 2002 - 11:51:04 EST
"Flowers"
The flower vendor was an old hand at unloading
his last few bunches. Appealing to a businessman
on his way home, the vendor said, "How about a
nice bunch of roses to surprise your wife?"
"Haven't got a wife," responded the businessman
gruffly.
"Then how about some carnations for your girlfriend?"
proposed the vendor without missing a beat.
"Haven't got a girlfriend."
"You lucky guy!" The vendor broke into a big smile.
"Buy both bunches to celebrate!"
*************************
"Sales Candidate"
The owner of a well-established firm of wholesalers
was interviewing people for a position in sales. One
candidate offered excellent references and experience
and was well-dressed and well-spoken. The only
catch was a disconcerting mannerism: the fellow
couldn't seem to stop winking.
So the sales manager decided to be frank, "You've
got all the qualifications for the job and I'd really like
to hire you--but I'm afraid that facial tic of yours might
put customers off.
"I'm glad you brought that up, sir," said the sales
candidate, "because all I need to make that annoying
wink go away is a couple of aspirin. See for yourself,
I've got some on me." And he began emptying his
pockets on the desk.
The prospective employer was startled to see dozens
of packages of condoms piling up: ribbed ones,
lubricated ones, multicolored ones, every variety
imaginable.
"Aha," cried the young man happily, "here they are."
He brandished two aspirin, swallowed them , and
sure enough, the tic went away in less than a minute.
"So much for the wink," said the sales manager sternly,
gesturing at the mountain of rubbers, "but what about
all this stuff here? I don't want my company to be
represented by some wild womanizer, after all."
"No fear. I'm a happily married man."
"So how can you account for the contents of your
pockets?"
"It's simple, sir. Did you ever go into a drug store,
winking like crazy, and ask for a packet of aspirins?"
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