Subject: Alcohol Warning Labels We SHOULD See
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Tue Dec 31 2002 - 09:27:58 EST
"Alcohol Warning Labels We SHOULD See"
1. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may
cause you to wake up with breath that could
knock a buzzard off a garbage truck at 100 yards.
2. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a
major factor in dancing like a jerk.
3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may
cause you to tell the same boring story over
and over again until your friends want to
SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may
cause you to thay shings like thish.
5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may
cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY
think while photocopying your butt at the
office Christmas party.
6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may
lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really
dying for you to telephone them at four in the
morning.
7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may
leave you wondering what ever happened
to your pants anyway.
8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may
cause you to roll over in the morning and
see something really scary (whose species
and/or name you can't remember).
9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the
leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the
forehead.
10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may
create the illusion that you are tougher,
handsomer and smarter than some really,
really big guy named "Psycho."
11. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may
lead you to believe you're invisible (or
invincible).
12. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may
lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
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