Subject: You've Been Drinking Too Much Coffee...
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Tue Apr 23 2002 - 21:47:50 EDT
"You've Been Drinking Too Much Coffee..."
Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.
You ski uphill.
You get a speeding ticket even when you're
parked.
You have a bumper sticker that says: "Coffee
drinkers are good in the sack."
You answer the door before people knock.
You just completed another sweater and you
don't know how to knit.
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet
away without using the timer.
You lick your coffeepot clean.
You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell
House."
You're the employee of the month at the local
coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take
your pulse.
Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the
devil's coffee."
You're so jittery that people use your hands to
blend their margaritas.
You can type sixty words per minute with your
feet.
You can jump-start your car without cables.
Cocaine is a downer.
All your kids are named "Joe."
Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet
& Low."
You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Wed May 01 2002 - 00:00:02 EDT