Subject: Vintage Gas
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Tue Oct 23 2001 - 06:40:16 EDT
"Vintage Gas"
During the big gas price increase here in
California, my friend's 19 year old daughter
(blonde, go figure) came home with this little
story ...
"Mom, I just can't afford that newer gas now.
I always have to get the gas from '87 because
it's all I can pay for right now. I wish I could get
one of the newer gasses, like the '89 or the '92,
but it just costs too much. And anyhow, why
haven't they made any gas since '92? I can't
believe that all they have is that old gas and then
charge so much for it."
*****************************
"Mileage"
I used to vacation with a few friends at a cottage in
northern Ontario. The morning of this particular tale
we set off at about 8 a.m.; four of us traveling in our
own cars, loaded up with the necessary baggage and
food for our stay. Three of us arrive at the cottage at
about the same time, having made the trip in just over
an hour and a half, but our friend Gus is conspicuously
missing. Just after noon he rolls up in his shiny new
point-of-pride, a CRX.
He casually gets out of his car to a round of questions,
everyone wanting to know what'd taken him so long.
He replies "What do you expect, guys, this is a brand
new car," which we're apparently supposed to take
as sufficient explanation. Of course, we ask him to
elaborate; so he obliges....
"No, I didn't stop for anything, I just drove slower." Why?
"Well, you know that if you drive slower you'll put less
mileage on your car, don't you?"
Yes, folks, he *was* serious, and was even offended
at our doubting his radical speed/distance theory. He
went on to explain, exasperated at our stupidity in the
face of reason, "When you're driving, just look at your
odometer, first when you're driving around town, and
then look at it again when you're on the highway.
You've gotta notice that the odometer rolls a hell of a
lot faster when you're goin' 60 or 70 m.p.h."
It took us hours to convince him that he was not saving
any mileage driving slower. We needed maps, rulers,
calculators -- it took every resource we could pool, even
a demonstration, to make him believe us. But I still think
Gus is out there, somewhere, driving around at half the
speed limit....
{I wonder if Gus puts any of that "vintage gas" in his
car. - LadyHawke}
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