Subject: What Time Is It?
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Tue Oct 09 2001 - 20:26:44 EDT
"What Time Is It?"
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side
of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side
of the field, with the control tower in the middle.
One day the tower received a call from an
aircraft asking, "What time is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference does it
make?"
The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If
it is an American Airlines Flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it
is an Air Force, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy
aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big
hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If
it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon."
**********************
"Ground Control"
During taxi, the crew of a US Air departure flight to
Ft. Lauderdale, made a wrong turn and came nose
to nose with a United 727.
The irate ground controller (a female) lashed out at
the US Air crew screaming "US Air 2771, Where are
you going? I told you to turn right on "Charlie" taxiway;
you turned right on "Delta." Stop right there. I know it's
difficult to tell the difference between Cs and Ds but
get it right."
Continuing her lashing to the embarrassed crew, she
was now shouting hysterically, "Darn, you've messed
everything up; it'll take forever to sort this out. You stay
right there and don't move until I tell you to. You can
expect progressive taxi instructions in about a half hour,
and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell
you, and how I tell you. You got that, US Air 2771?"
The humbled crew responded: "Yes Ma'am."
Naturally, the "ground control" frequency went terribly
silent after the verbal bashing of US Air Flight 2771. No
one wanted to engage the irate ground controller in her
current state. Tension in every cockpit at LGA was
running high.
Shortly after the controller finished her admonishment
of the U.S. Air crew, an unknown male pilot broke the
silence and asked, "Wasn't I married to you once?"
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Thu Nov 01 2001 - 00:00:01 EST