Halt...You Are Under Arrest


Subject: Halt...You Are Under Arrest
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Fri Nov 09 2001 - 08:40:06 EST


"Worst Speed Trap"

A police officer had a perfect hiding place for
watching for speeders. But he wasn't catching
anyone.

One day the officer found the problem: a 10 year
old boy was standing on the side of the road with
a huge hand painted sign which said "RADAR
TRAP AHEAD."

A little more investigative work led the officer to
the boy's accomplice, another boy about 100 yards
beyond the radar trap with a sign reading "TIPS"
and a bucket at his feet, full of change.

***********************

"Halt...You Are Under Arrest"

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding
and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended
when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think
I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was
putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and
killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her
in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called for back
up. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and
the captain approached the driver to handle the tense
  situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card.

The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box
so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I
was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who
stopped you said you told him you didn't have
a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove
box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was
speeding, too!



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