Subject: What My Mother Taught Me...
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon May 14 2001 - 02:56:36 EDT
"What My Mother Taught Me..."
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL
DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside -
I just finished cleaning!"
My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray
that will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: "If you
don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the
middle of next week!"
My mother taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so,
that's why."
My mother taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure
you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an
accident."
My mother taught me IRONY - "Keep laughing and
I'll *give* you something to cry about."
My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
- "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST -
"Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
My mother taught me about STAMINA - "You'll sit
there until all that spinach is finished."
My mother taught me about WEATHER - "It looks
as if a tornado swept through your room."
My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS
PROBLEMS - "If I yelled because I saw a meteor
coming toward you; would you listen then?"
My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I've
told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't
Exaggerate!!!"
My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE -
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you
out."
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR
MODIFICATION - "Stop acting like your father!"
My mother taught me about ENVY - "There are
millions of less fortunate children in this world
who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Fri Jun 01 2001 - 00:00:01 EDT