Subject: Life Lessons Learned From A Dog
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Thu Mar 15 2001 - 07:58:04 EST
"All Cat Owners Will Recognize
These Descriptions of Cats"
Cat: 1. a lap-warmer with a built-in buzzer.
2. a four footed allergen.
3. a small, four-legged, fur-bearing extortionist.
4. a small, furry lap fungus.
5. a treat-seeking missile.
6. a wildlife control expert impersonator.
7. one who sleeps in old, empty pizza boxes.
8. a hair relocation expert.
9. an unprogrammable animal.
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"Life Lessons Learned From A Dog"
1. If you stare at someone long enough, eventually
you'll get what you want.
2. Don't go out without an ID.
3. Be direct with people; let them know exactly how
you feel by piddling on their shoes.
4. Be aware of when to hold your tongue, and when
to use it.
5. Leave room in your schedule for a good nap.
6. Always give people a friendly greeting. A cold nose
in the crotch is very effective.
7. When you do something wrong, always take
responsibility (as soon as you're dragged out from
under the bed).
8. If it's not wet and sloppy, it's not a real kiss.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Sun Apr 01 2001 - 00:00:01 EST