Subject: You Know It's Time To Diet When...
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon Jul 23 2001 - 08:18:31 EDT
"You Know It's Time To Diet When...."
You dance and it makes the band skip.
You are diagnosed with the flesh eating virus,
and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live.
You put mayonnaise on an aspirin.
You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you
peanuts.
Your driver's license says, "Picture continued on
other side."
You ran away and they had to use all four sides
of the milk carton for your picture.
You learn you were born with a silver shovel
in your mouth.
You could sell shade.
Your blood type is Ragu.
You need an appointment to attend an 'open
house'.
*********************
"Delta's Physical Fitness Program"
At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to
wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then
I heard the voice on the public address system saying,
"We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight
570 will board from Gate 41."
So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over
to Gate 41. Not ten minutes later the public address
voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding
from Gate 35.
So again we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned
to the original gate. Just as we were settling down,
the public address voice spoke again: "Thank you for
participating in Delta's physical fitness program."
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Wed Aug 01 2001 - 00:00:01 EDT