Subject: Of Teenagers And Cats
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Wed Jul 11 2001 - 19:33:06 EDT
"Of Teenagers And Cats"
For all of you with teenagers or who have
had teenagers, you may want to know why
they really have a lot in common with cats:
1. Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads
when you call them by name.
2. No matter what you do for them, it is not
enough. Indeed, all humane efforts are barely
adequate to compensate for the privilege of
waiting on them hand and foot.
3. You rarely see a cat walking outside of the
house with an adult human being, and it can
be safely said that no teenager in his or her
right mind wants to be seen in public with
his or her parents.
4. Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno,
neither your cat nor your teen will ever crack
a smile.
5. No cat or teenager shares you taste in music.
6. Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-
room sofa for hours on end without moving,
barely breathing.
7. Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on
as if they did.
8. Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the
same manner, communicating that ultimate
human ecstasy -- a sense of complete and
utter boredom.
9. Cats and teenagers do not improve
anyone's furniture.
10. Cats that are free to roam outside
sometimes have been known to return in
the middle of the night to deposit a dead
animal in your bedroom. Teenagers are
not above that sort of behavior.
Thus, if you must raise teenagers, the best
sources of advice are not other parents, but
veterinarians. It is also a good idea to keep a
guidebook on cats at hand at all times. And
remember, above all else, put out the food
and do not make any sudden moves in their
direction. When they make up their minds,
they will finally come to you for some affection
and comfort, and it will be a triumphant
moment for all concerned.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Wed Aug 01 2001 - 00:00:01 EDT