Subject: Signs Your Inner Child is Unhappy
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sun Jan 21 2001 - 03:04:35 EST
"Signs Your Inner Child is Unhappy"
*Hasn't touched your inner train set for days.
*Spends all day sulking in your lower intestine.
*You've stopped shouting "Wheeeee!" on the
elevator at work.
*Joins an inner gang and goes wilding through
your pancreas.
*You attempt to overdose on a lethal combination
of J&B and M&Ms.
*When you try to hug him, he pulls away and calls
you a "pathetic co-dependent loser."
*When your boss calls you incompetent, you reply:
"I know you are, but what am I?"
*Has been sulking since you refused to buy that
Power Ranger doll.
*Constantly whacking the holy heck out of the inner
puppy you gave him for his birthday.
*You keep getting thrown out of bars for ordering
Lucky Charms and Milk.
*Primal scream portion of "Bert and Ernie's Anger
Management Workshop" has kept you up three
nights in a row.
*Sudden urge to knock your morning cappuccino
and bagel onto the floor.
*You discover you have an Inner Madonna carrying
your Inner Child.
*Says she can't wait until she's 18 so she can "get
the heck outta this dump."
*You keep your therapist at bay with a Lego Uzi
until gummi bear ransom is delivered.
*Hires an inner lawyer and slaps you with a $40
million inner lawsuit.
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