Subject: Male & Female Nouns
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sat Dec 15 2001 - 10:46:56 EST
"Let's Have Male & Female Nouns"
It has often been suggested that English should
have male and female nouns. Here are a few
candidates for consideration as useful male and
female nouns:
SWISS ARMY KNIFE -- male, because even though
it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends
most of its time just opening bottles.
KIDNEYS -- female, because they always go to the
bathroom in pairs.
PENLIGHT -- male, because it can be turned on very
easily, but isn't very bright.
TIRE -- male, because it goes bald and often is
over-inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOON: male, because to get it to go
anywhere you have to light a fire under it... and, of
course, there's the hot air part.
SPONGES -- female, because they are soft and
squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGE -- female, because it is always getting
hit on.
SHOE -- male, because it is usually unpolished, with
its tongue hanging out.
COPIER -- female, because once turned off, it takes
a while to warm up. Also, because it is an effective
reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed.
Also, because it can wreak havoc when the wrong
buttons are pushed.
ZIPLOC BAGS -- male, because they hold everything
in, but you can always see right through them.
SUBWAY -- male, because it uses the same old lines
to pick people up.
HOURGLASS -- female, because over time, the weight
shifts to the bottom.
HAMMER -- male, because it hasn't evolved much
over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around
and it's good for killing bugs.
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