Subject: Ways To Annoy A Roommate At Christmas
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Fri Dec 14 2001 - 07:03:01 EST
"Ways To Annoy A Roommate At Christmas"
1. Claim you were a Christmas tree in your former
life. If s/he tries to bring one into the room, scream
bloody murder and thrash on the floor.
2. Go to the mall with your roommate and sit on
Santa's lap. Refuse to get off.
3. Wear a Santa suit all the time. Deny you're
wearing it.
4. Sit in a corner in the fetal position rocking back
and forth chanting, "Santa Claus is coming to town,
Santa Claus is coming to town..."
5. Hang mistletoe in the doorway. When your
roommate enters or leaves the room, plant a wet
one on his/her lips.
6. Hang a stocking with your roommates name
on it. Collect coal and sharp objects in it. If s/he
asks, say, "You've been very naughty his year. "
7. Paint your nose red and wear antlers. Constantly
complain about how you never get to join in on the
reindeer games.
8. Make conversation out of Christmas Carols.
(I. E. "You know, I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus
underneath the mistletoe last night.")
9. Wrap yourself in Christmas lights and roll around
in the snow.
10. Sing: "All I want for Christmas is my roommate's
two front teeth..."
11. Give your roommate the gifts from the twelve
days of Christmas song.
12. Build a snow person with your roommate and
place a hat on its head. When it doesn't come to
life, cry hysterically: "It didn't work!
"
13. Whip your roommate screaming: "Now Dasher,
now Dancer, now Donner, and Blitzen, etc."
14. Tear down all your roommate's Christmas
decorations yelling, "Bah Humbug!"
15. Wake up every morning screaming, "Ghost of
Christmas Future, please have mercy on my soul!"
16. Tell your roommate you're moving out. Santa's
buying you a house on 34th Street.
17. Pin a poinsettia to your lapel.
18. Make anatomically correct gingerbread people
and eat the best parts first.
19. Put on a fake white beard and insist that all your
roommate's friends, "Give it a yank."
20. Ring jingle bells maniacally saying "every time
a bell rings an angel gets his wings."
21. Stand in front of the mirror in your underwear
reciting, "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" over
and over.
22. Smoke mistletoe. Do what comes naturally.
23. Watch your roommate when s/he is sleeping.
When s/he wakes up, sing, "He sees you when
you're sleeping..."
24. Steal a life size nativity scene and display it
in your room. When your roommate asks, tell
him/her, "I had to let them stay here, there's no
room at the inn."
25. When your roommate goes to the bathroom,
rearrange his/her possessions. Tell him/her that
Santa's elves must have done it.
26. Take some miniature marshmallows and put
them in a little baggie. Attach a note to the bag that
has a picture of a snow man and this poem:
'You have been naughty, and here's the scoop:
All you get is the snowman's poop!'
Or you could have a picture of a reindeer with
cocoa puffs for reindeer poop for your roommate.
Now, if you want to be nice, on the other hand........
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Tue Jan 01 2002 - 00:00:01 EST