Subject: Church Bulletin Typos
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sun Aug 12 2001 - 20:10:33 EDT
"Church Bulletin Typos"
These sentences actually appeared in a church bulletin
or were announced in a church service:
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking
tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come
tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
Announcement in the church bulletin for a National
PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending
the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday
at 8 pm in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us
kill Christ the King.
Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way
again" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance
to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the
house. Don't forget your husbands."
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has
been canceled due to a conflict.
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus"
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They
need all the help they can get.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our
community.
Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to
someone who doesn't care much about you.
Don't let worry kill you off --let the Church help.
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on
October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that
began in their school days.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in
the church hall. Music will follow.
The senior choir invites any member of the
congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other
items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple
children.
For those of you who have children and don't know it,
we have a nursery downstairs.
Please place your donation in the envelope along with
the deceased person(s) you want remembered.
Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave
a healthy lunch.
The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb
entertainment, and gracious hostility.
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 pm --prayer and
medication to follow.
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every
kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use the back door.
The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's
Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The
Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian
Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing
campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge -
Up Yours."
Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Sat Sep 01 2001 - 00:00:02 EDT