Subject: I'll Have a McBeer, Please
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sat Apr 07 2001 - 02:55:42 EDT
"I'll Have a McBeer, Please"
A German tourist walks into a McDonald's in
New York City and orders a beer. (In Germany
and many parts of Europe, McDonald's actually
does serve beer.) The local guy in the line behind
him immediately gives him the jab: "They don't
serve BEER here, you MORON!"
The German fellow felt pretty stupid, but suddenly
turns to the New Yorker with a surprised look, and
begins to chuckle.
"And what's so funny?!?" the New Yorker demands.
"Oh, nothing really, I just realized that you came
here for the food."
***************************
"The Nasty Tourist"
A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One
of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon,
constantly complaining. The bus seats are
uncomfortable.The food is terrible. It's too hot. It's
too cold. The accommodations are awful.
The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney
Stone. "Good luck will be followin' ya all your days
if you kiss the Blarney Stone,"the guide said.
"Unfortunately, it's being cleaned today and so no
one will be able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come
back tomorrow."
"We can't be here tomorrow," the nasty woman
shouted. "We have some other boring tour to go
on. So I guess we can't kiss the stupid stone."
"Well now," the guide said, "it is said that if you
kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you'll
have the same good fortune."
"And I suppose you've kissed the stone," the
woman scoffed.
"No, ma'am," the frustrated guide said, "but I've
sat on it."
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