Redefining Words


Subject: Redefining Words
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Thu Nov 30 2000 - 11:51:47 EST


"Redefining Words"

1. Abdicate - v. To give up all hope of ever
having a flat stomach.

2. Carcinoma - n. A valley in California,
notable for its heavy smog.

3. Esplanade - v., to attempt an explanation
while drunk.

4. Negligent - adj., describes a condition in
which you absent-mindedly answer the door
in your nightie.

5. Lymph - v To walk with a lisp.

6. Gargoyle - n., an olive-flavored mouthwash.

7. Bustard - n., a very rude Metrobus driver.

8. Coffee - n., a person who is coughed upon.

9. Flatulence - n., the emergency vehicle that
picks you up after you are run over by a
steamroller.

10. Balderdash - n., a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Semantics - n., pranks conducted by
young men studying for the priesthood,
including such things as gluing the pages of
the priest's prayer book together just before
vespers.

12. Marionettes - n., residents of Washington
D.C. who have been jerked around by the mayor.

13. Oyster - n., a person who sprinkles his
conversation with Yiddish expressions.



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