Subject: Ancient Medicine
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sat Jul 22 2000 - 03:00:55 EDT
"Please Help My Wife"
A wild-eyed man dressed in a Napoleonic costume
and hiding his right hand inside his coat entered the
psychiatrist's office and nervously exclaimed,
"Doctor, I need your help right away."
"I can see that," retorted the doctor. "Lie down on
that couch and tell me your problem."
"I don't have any problem," the man snapped. "In fact,
as Emperor of France I have everything I could possibly
want: money, women, power -- everything! But I'm
afraid my wife, Josephine, is in deep mental trouble."
"I see," said the psychiatrist, humoring his distraught
patient. "And what seems to be her main problem?"
"For some strange reason," answered the unhappy
man, "she thinks she's Mrs. Schwartz."
************************************
"Ancient Medicine"
An archaeologist was digging in the Negev
Desert in Israel and came upon a casket
containing a mummy. After examining it, he
called the curator of a prestigious natural-history
museum. "I've just discovered a 3,000 year-old
mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the
excited scientist exclaimed.
To which the curator replied, "Bring him in. We'll
check it out."
A week later, the amazed curator called the
archaeologist. "You were right about the mummy's
age and cause of death. How in the world did you
know?"
"Easy. There was a piece of paper in his hand
that said, '10,000 Shekels on Goliath'."
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