Subject: More Feline Physics
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sat Jul 01 2000 - 03:01:12 EDT
"Feline Physics"
Second Law of Energy Conservation
Cats also know that energy can only be stored
by a lot of napping.
Law of Refrigerator Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough,
someone will come along and take out
something good to eat.
Law of Electric Blanket Attraction
Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump
into bed at the speed of light.
Law of Random Comfort Seeking
A cat will always seek, and usually take over,
the most comfortable spot in any given room.
Law of Bag/Box Occupancy
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain
a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.
Law of Cat Embarrassment
A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her
embarrassment times the amount of human
laughter.
Law of Milk Consumption
A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just
to show you he can.
Law of Furniture Replacement
A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly
proportional to the cost of the furniture.
Law of Cat Landing
A cat will always land in the softest place
possible; often the mid-section of an
unsuspecting, reclining human.
Law of Fluid Displacement
A cat immersed in milk will displace her own
volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.
Law of Cat Disinterest
A cat's interest level will vary in inverse
proportion to the amount of effort a human
expends in trying to interest him.
Law of Pill Rejection
Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy
to reach escape velocity.
Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter =
It Doesn't Matter.
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