Subject: How Men And Dogs Are Alike
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon Feb 28 2000 - 03:44:17 EST
"How Men And Dogs Are Alike"
Both take up too much space on the bed.
Both have irrational fears about vacuum
cleaners.
Both are threatened by their own kind.
Both mark their territory.
Both are suspicious of the postman.
Both are bad at asking you questions.
Both pass gas shamelessly.
Both like dominance games.
Both tend to smell riper with age.
Neither of them tells you what's bothering
them.
Neither of them does dishes.
Neither of them notice when you get your
hair cut.
Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.
Neither understands what you see in cats.
The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
*******************************************
"The Fur Coat or Why Men Are Scum"
A man and a woman walk into a very posh
Rodeo Drive furrier. "Show the lady your finest
mink!" the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the
shop goes in back and comes out with an
absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the
lady tries it on, the furrier goes up to the guy
and discreetly whispers, "Ah, sir, that particular
fur goes for $65,000."
"No problem! I'll write you a check!"
"Very good, sir." Says the shop owner. "Today
is Saturday. You may come by on Monday to
pick it up, after the check has cleared."
So the man and the woman leave. On Monday,
the fellow returns. The store owner is outraged:
"How dare you show your face in here?! There
wasn't a single penny in your checking account!!"
"I just had to come by," grinned the guy, "to thank
you for the most wonderful weekend of my life!"
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