Subject: Useful Phrases To Use At Work
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon Feb 14 2000 - 03:46:47 EST
"Opening"
A man went to apply for a job. After filling out
all of his application, he waited anxiously for
the outcome.
The employer read all his application and said,
"We have an opening for people like you."
"Oh, great," he said, "What is it?"
"It's called the door!"
***************************************************
"Useful Phrases To Use At Work"
I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged
by your unique point of view.
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions
I had about you.
I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
I'm really easy to get along with once you
people learn to worship me.
The fact that no one understands you
doesn't mean you're an artist.
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll
bet it's hard to pronounce.
Any connection between your reality and
mine is purely coincidental.
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't
give a damn.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over
your mouth.
It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma
to burn off.
No, my powers can only be used for good.
How about *never*? Is *never* good for you?
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a
message.
Who, me? I just wander from room to room.
It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the
cellular level I'm really quite busy.
At least I have a positive attitude about my
destructive habits.
You are validating my inherent mistrust of
strangers.
I see you've set aside this special time to
humiliate yourself in public.
Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh
nervously and change the subject.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Wed Mar 01 2000 - 00:00:05 EST