Subject: Three Seconds to Process
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon Feb 07 2000 - 03:25:02 EST
"Broken VCR"
(From Barbara Blodgett)
I just had to tell you. My daughter is in retail,
and the other day a woman came in to bring
her VCR in. She put it on the counter and said
it did not work. My daughter said she would
have it sent in to have it fixed. The woman
said she did not want it fixed. They both stood
and looked at each other and finally my
daughter said, "Look, I'm divorced. I don't
have to read minds any more. What is it you
want me to do with this VCR?"
The woman got a new one.
*****************************************************
"Three Seconds to Process"
(From Matt Whalen)
I ran a cash register for a summer job a while
back with a company that will, for its own good,
remain unnamed. I, being a constant joker,
enjoyed this job very much, seeing as how I
got to joke with all of my customers.
One slow evening, a small lady walked up to my
register and placed her items on the counter. I
greeted her, rang up the items, gave her the total,
and she handed me her credit card. I zipped the
card and waited for the receipt to print. And I waited.
And waited. And she waited. After about a minute
and a half, I picked up my pen, held it in my hand
like a pistol, and pressed it to the computer screen.
"Yous gots about tree seconds to print the receipt,
see?" I sneered in my best Mafioso voice. "One . . .
two . . ." Just as I was about to say "three," the
machine came to life and the receipt printed. With
a smug look on my face, I turned to the lady and
said jokingly, "When you're in the Mafia, like me,
people listen to you!"
"Thanks for telling me," she said, pulling out a
badge, "because I'm with the FBI!"
That is a true story. But needless to say, I never
used that line again!
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Wed Mar 01 2000 - 00:00:04 EST