Subject: Religions and Fire
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sun Feb 06 2000 - 03:25:13 EST
"Preacher's New Dentures"
This minister just had all of his remaining teeth
pulled and new dentures were being made.
The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes.
The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes.
But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25
minutes.
When asked about this by some of the congregation,
he responded this way.....
The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk.
The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot.
The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's
dentures... AND I COULDN'T STOP TALKING!
**********************************************************
"Religions and Fire"
During a recent ecumenical gathering, a secretary
rushed in shouting, "The building is on fire!"
The METHODISTS gathered in the corner and
prayed.
The BAPTISTS cried, "Where is the water?"
The QUAKERS quietly praised G~d for the blessings
that fire bring.
The LUTHERANS posted a notice on the door
declaring the fire was evil.
The ROMAN CATHOLICS passed the plate to
cover the damage.
The JEWS posted symbols on the doors hoping
the fire would pass.
The CONGREGATIONALISTS shouted, "Every
man for himself!"
The FUNDAMENTALISTS proclaimed, "It's the
vengeance of G~d.
The EPISCOPALIANS formed a procession and
marched out.
The CHRISTIAN SCIENTISTS concluded that
there was no fire.
The PRESBYTERIANS appointed a chairperson
who was to appoint a committee to look into the
matter and submit a written report.
The secretary grabbed the fire extinguisher and
put the fire out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NOTE: If you're *dying* to know why I don't spell
out the name of the Lord, please be assured that
I do it in respect and *not* because I think the
Name dirty in any way. Since I do it for myself
rather than someone else, the subject is *not*
open for discussion. For more information, go to
http://www.ladyhawk.com/jan9.html
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Wed Mar 01 2000 - 00:00:04 EST