Subject: Pinocchio's Splinter Solution
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sun Dec 31 2000 - 20:18:13 EST
"Pinocchio's Splinter Solution"
One day, Pinocchio and his girlfriend were in bed
doing what girls and wooden boys do. As they were
cuddling later, Pinocchio could tell that something
was bothering his girlfriend. So, he asked her,
"What's the matter, baby?"
Pinocchio's girlfriend gave a big sigh and replied,
"You're probably the best guy I've ever met, but
every time we make love you give me splinters."
This remark bothered Pinocchio a great deal, so
the next day he went to seek some advice form
his creator, Gepetto. When Pinocchio arrived,
Gepetto could tell something was bothering
Pinocchio, and asked him what was the matter.
Pinocchio revealed his dilemma to Gepetto.
Gepetto searched up and down for a solution.
Eventually, he suggested that sandpaper might
be able to "smooth" out Pinocchio's relationship
with his girlfriend. Pinocchio graciously thanked
Gepetto and went on his way.
Gepetto had not heard from Pinocchio for a while
and therefore assumed that the sandpaper had
solved all of Pinocchio's problems. A couple weeks
later, Gepetto was in town to have some blades
sharpened at the hardware store when he ran into
Pinocchio. When he saw Pinocchio buying all the
packs of sandpaper the store had in stock, Gepetto
remarked, "So, Pinocchio, things must be going
pretty damn good with the girls, eh?" and Pinocchio
replied:
"Girls, who needs girls?!?!?!?!?!?!?"
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