Subject: The Perfect Husband
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sat Dec 16 2000 - 02:50:03 EST
"Get Married?"
Arthur took his college roommate, Samuel, home
for Christmas, and after dinner, spoke to his father,
"Dad, I need to tell you something. Samuel and
I want to get married, and we'd like your blessing."
Arthur's father practically exploded, his face
turned red, and was literally speechless for ten
minutes. When he finally regained his composure,
he replied,
"Arthur, you CANNOT marry Samuel!!! For
Christ's sake, Arthur... He's... He's Jewish!"
***************************************
"The Perfect Husband"
There are several men in the locker room of a
private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell
phone that was on one of the benches rings.
A man picks it up and the following conversation
ensues:
"Hello?"
"Honey, It's me."
"Sugar!"
"Are you at the club?"
"Yes."
"Great! I am at the mall 2 blocks from where you
are. I saw a beautiful mink coat... It is absolutely
gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"
"What's the price?"
"Only $1,500.00"
"Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that
much..."
"Ahhh and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership
and saw the 2001 at a really good price ... and since
we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last
year..."
"What price did he quote you?"
"Only $60,000..."
"OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
"Great!, before we hang up, something else..."
"What?"
"It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your
bank account and... I stopped by the real estate agent
this morning, and I saw the house we had looked at
last year ... it's on sale!! Remember? The one with
a pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beach front
property..."
"How much are they asking?"
"Only $450,000... a magnificent price, and I see that
we have that much in the bank to cover..."
"Well, than go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000.
OK?"
"OK, sweetie... Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"
"Bye... I do, too..."
The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap and raises
his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those
present:
"Er... Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
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