Subject: How Women Get What They Want
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Thu Aug 17 2000 - 22:07:47 EDT
"How Women Get What They Want"
Women are under the illusion they don't have
to ask men for anything - that if the man really
loved her, he would automatically and
instinctively know what she needed. Right!
As if the dysfunctional drone even knew you
were in the room, let alone knew what you
were feeling. A woman has a better chance of
finding a bathing suit off the rack that fits than
finding a man who knows what she is going
through.
Ironically, however, men like to feel needed -
like they're her knight in shining armor.
Unfortunately, most turn out to be needy, like
her nightmare from The Shining. Therefore,
it is important that a woman ask a man
directly for what she wants, not indirectly. He
is not a mind reader. He doesn't even read a
map, how's he going to read a mind?
****************************************
"How To Ask A Man To Do Something"
Always remember these six important rules
when asking a man to do something:
1. Make sure the man is conscious.
2. Crash the hard drive on his computer and
line the bird cage with the sports section.
3. Be brief! Limit your nagging harangue to
two, three hours, max.
4. Reward him for cooperative behavior. Offer
to cook him something that doesn't have a
peel-back cover.
5. Punish him when he refuses to cooperate.
Microwave his remote on high power for 55
minutes. Rotate 1/4 turn, and microwave
again for another 35 minutes.
6. Use "would you" or "will you" instead of "you'd
better" or "do as I say and no one will get hurt."
To be continued tomorrow.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Fri Sep 01 2000 - 00:00:04 EDT