Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Tue, 21 Sep 1999 05:36:09 -0400
"New Cook"
Mr. & Mrs. Smith have been back from
their honeymoon for two weeks when
Mr. Smith comes home from work and
says that he has invited 4 of his friends
from the office home for dinner on Friday
night. The wife is a bit apprehensive and
asks if she must cook a meal for the four.
The husband explains that there will be
eight coming because each will bring his
wife.
Since this is there first party, the husband
consoles her by saying that all she has
to do is get some Chinese food in and
perhaps she can bake a cake.
This sounds like a good idea, and they
sit down and decide what Chinese food
to get.
Friday morning wife calls the office in
tears. She explains that the only cake
recipe she has will only feed six.
Hubby says, "Why don't you just double
the recipe?" She decides that is a good
idea.
At four, hubby gets another phone call --
this time quite frantic.
"I just can't do it," wifely weeps. "It's
impossible."
"Now, now, what's the matter?"
"Well, their recipe calls for two eggs..."
"So, you use FOUR eggs. Don't you
have them?
"Yes -- then it needs 4 cups of flour."
"Well," hubby says rather testily, "you
will have to use 8 cups of flour --what
is the problem?"
"It isn't the ingredients," wife sobs, "it
says that the cake must be baked at
350 degrees and I have checked the
oven, and I can't turn the heat up to
700 degrees!"
************************************************************
"Sleeping Attire"
The young bride's mother had some
old-fashioned ideas of marriage, and
passed them on to her daughter.
"Never let your husband see you in
the nude," she advised. "You should
always wear something."
"Yes, mother," replied the obedient girl.
Two weeks after the wedding, the girl
and her brand-new husband were
preparing to retire when the guy asked,
"Dear, has there ever been any insanity
in your family?"
"Not that I know of," she answered.
"Why?
"Well, we've been married for two
weeks now and every night you've
worn that silly hat to bed."
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