Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Sat, 18 Sep 1999 03:24:02 -0400
"Carjacking Granny" (A Supposedly True Story)
An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon return,
found four males in her car. She dropped her
shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding
to scream at them at the top of her voice that she
knows how to use it and that she will if required:
so get out of the car.
The four men didn't wait around for a second
invitation but got out and ran like mad, whereupon
the lady proceeded to load her shopping bags into
the back of the car and get into the driver's seat.
Small problem: Her key wouldn't fit the ignition. Her
car was identical and parked four or five spaces
farther down. She loaded her bags into her car
and drove to the police station. The sergeant to
whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two
with laughter and pointed to the other end of the
counter, where four pale white males were
reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly white
woman. No charges were filed.
****************************************************************
"The Long Bus Trip"
The little old lady seated herself right behind
the bus driver. Every ten minutes or so
she'd pipe up, "Have we reached Oriskany
Falls yet, sonny?"
"No, lady, not yet. I'll let you know," he replied,
time after time.
The hours passed, the old woman kept
asking for Oriskany Falls, and finally the little
town came into view. Sighing with relief, the
driver slammed on the brakes, pulled over
and called out, "This is where you get out,
lady."
"Is this Oriskany Falls?"
"YES!" he bellowed. "Get out!"
"Oh, I'm going all the way to Albany, sonny,"
she explained sweetly. "It's just that my
daughter told me that when we got this far,
I should take my blood pressure pill."
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Sat Sep 18 1999 - 09:00:02 EDT