Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Sun, 17 Oct 1999 11:37:01 -0400
"Honest Lawyer"
An investment counselor went out on her
own. She was shrewd and diligent, so
business kept coming in, and pretty soon
she realized she needed an in-house
counsel, so she began interviewing young
lawyers.
"As I'm sure you can understand," she
started off with one of the first applicants,
"in a business like this, our personal
integrity must be beyond question." She
leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson, are you an
*honest* lawyer?"
"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me
tell you something about honest. Why, I'm
so honest that my father lent me fifteen
thousand dollars for my education, and I
paid back every penny the minute I tried my
very first case."
"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"
The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted,
"He sued me for the money."
*****************************************************
"Postmortem Planning"
(and oldie but a goodie!)
A dying man gathered his lawyer, doctor and
clergyman at his bedside and handed each of
them an envelope containing $25,000 in cash.
He made them each promise that after his
death and during his repose, they would place
the three envelopes in his coffin. He told them
that he wanted to have enough money to
enjoy the next life.
A week later the man died. At the wake, the lawyer
and doctor and clergyman, each concealed an
envelope in the coffin and bid their old client and
friend farewell. By chance, these three met
several months later. Soon the clergyman, feeling
guilty, blurted out a confession saying that there
was only $10,000 in the envelope he placed in
the coffin. He felt, rather than waste all the money,
he would send it to a mission in South America.
He asked for their forgiveness.
The doctor, moved by the gentle Clergyman's
sincerity, confessed that he, too, had kept some
of the money for a new X-Ray machine at his
hospital. The envelope, he admitted, had only
$8,000 in it. He said, he too could not bring himself
to waste the money so frivolously when it could
be used to benefit others.
By this time the lawyer was seething with
self-righteous outrage. He expressed his deep
disappointment in the felonious behavior of two of
his oldest and most trusted friends. "I am the only
one who kept his promise to our dying friend. I
want you both to know that the envelope I placed
in the coffin contained the full amount. Indeed,
my envelope contained my personal check for
the entire $25,000."
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Mon Oct 18 1999 - 09:00:03 EDT