Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Thu, 27 May 1999 11:18:54 -0400
For Jeff S., Sabrina M., Shawn T. & all other college
students who are happy that their semesters are over...
"Symptoms Of Semester Burnout"
You know you have serious symptoms of
semester burnout when...
1. When your parents inquire about your grades
and you sing the cookie monster song (C is for
cookie, that's good enough for me...)
2. You have spent more time figuring out that
you only need a 54% on the final to pass than
you have actually spent studing.
3. When you are swamped with homework and
spend your time making up a list
like this.
4. When you start showering after class rather
than before.
5. The test papers are no longer worthy of the
fridge door.
6. When the campus drunk tells you you should
study more.
7. When your favorite paperweight says "Sierra
Nevada - Pale Ale"
8. Visions of the upcoming weekend help you to
make it through Monday.
9. When your absence exceeds your attendance.
10. When your study schedule is based on the
rationale that you "might" actually die before the
test.
***********************************************************
"University Assignments"
There was a university in New England where the
students operated a "bank" of term papers and
other homework assignments. There were papers
to suit all needs and as it would look odd if an
undistinguished student suddenly handed in a
brilliant essay, there were papers for an A grade,
B grade and C grade.
A student who had spent the weekend on
pursuits other than his assignment, went to the
"bank" and as his course was a standard one he
took out a paper for a inconspicious C, retyped
it and handed the work in.
In due course he received it back with the
professor's comments "I wrote this paper myself
twenty years ago. I always thought it should have
had an A, and now I am glad to give it one!"
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Fri May 28 1999 - 09:00:03 EDT