On Movies...


Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Mon, 10 May 1999 18:28:42 -0400


"Pardon Me?? You Want A What???"

I've always ordered beverages one simple way:
"A Coke, please."

Lately, though, this hasn't seemed to work.
Waitresses now often respond, "I'm sorry, we
don't have Coke. We have Pepsi, Diet Pepsi,
Dr. Pepper, Mr. Pibb."

Tired of listening to the long list of soft drinks, I
thought I'd make life easier. So one day I simply
asked the snack bar clerk at a movie theater for a
"dark, carbonated beverage."

The young man behind the counter chuckled and
asked, "Ma'am, would you like a cylindrical plastic
sucking device with that?"

***********************************************************

"Renting Movies"

I rented a movie from Blockbuster. Before the
movie begins, a message usually comes on the
screen saying,
"This movie has been altered to fit your television
screen."

A comment from a person (not a blonde!):

"Er... How do they know what size screen I have?"

***********************************************************

"Copycat Moves"

A 13 year old was watching a movie on cable TV.
A man ripped off a woman's blouse and said,
"I want what I want when I want it!"

The boy, turned on by the scene and the love-making
which followed, finished watching the movie,and
decided to try what he had just witnessed on the girl
next door, a classmate. He went over to her house,
found that her parents weren't home from work yet,
ripped off her blouse; and then said,

"I want what I want when I want it!"

The girl stared at him and cooly replied...

"You'll get what I got when I get it!"



This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Tue May 11 1999 - 09:00:02 EDT