Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Fri, 07 May 1999 16:22:04 -0400
Remember "Application to Leave AOL" humor piece
that I sent out a couple of days back? Well, one
super-bright subscriber (a blonde?) wrote, "I DONT
WANT TO LEAVE AOL - JUST THIS JOKE LIST....."
Ahhhh, nincompoops, gotta love 'em!
LadyHawke
~*~*~*~*~*~*
"The Idiot Test" (A LadyHawk'e long time favorite)
Scoring guide:
20 Correct - Genius
17 Correct - Above Normal
15 Correct - Normal
8 Correct - Nincompoop
6 Correct - Moron
3 Correct - Idiot
"The Idiot Test Questions"
1. Do they have a 4th of July in England?
2. How many birthdays does an average person have?
3. Some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
4. A woman gives a beggar 50 cents; the woman is
the beggar's sister, but the beggar is not the woman's
brother. How come?
5. Why can't a man living in the USA be buried in
Canada?
6. How many outs are there in an inning?
7. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his
widow's sister? Why?
8. Two men play five games of checkers. Each
man wins the same number of games. There
are no ties. Explain this.
9. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
10. A man builds a house rectangular in shape. All
sides have southern exposure. A big bear walks
by; what color is the bear? Why?
11. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how
many do you have?
12. I have two US coins totaling 55 cents. One is
not a nickel. What are the coins?
13. If you have only one match and you walked into
a room where there was an oil burner, a kerosene
lamp, and a wood burning stove, which one would
you light first?
14. How far can a dog run into the woods?
15. A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take
one every half hour. How long would the pills last?
16. A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How
many are left?
17. How many animals of each sex did Moses take
on the ark?
18. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5' 10'' tall. What
does he weigh?
19. How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen?
20. What was the President's name in 1950?
"The Idiot Test Answers"
1. Yes, they just don't have it as a national holiday.
2. One, the day s/he is born.
3. All of them (12 months.)
4. The beggar is her sister.
5. He can't be buried if he isn't dead. Pay attention!
6. 6 outs, 3 outs per team.
7. No. A woman can't be a 'widow' if her husband isn't
dead. If he's dead, he can't marry!
8. They aren't playing each other!
9. 70. Did get it? Do the math again. You'll get it.
10. White. In order to have all Southern exposure walls,
the house must be at the North Pole, so it is a polar bear.
11. 2 apples. YOU took the two away, remember?
12. 50 cent piece and a nickel. (The 'other' one is a nickel.)
13. The match, of course.
14. Half way. Then he is running out of the woods.
15. 1 Hour; 1 pill now, 1 pill 30 min from now, and 1 pill one
hour from now.
16. 9, as in "all but 9..." Were you paying attention?
17. None - Noah took them on the ark, not Moses. Missed
your Bible studies?
18. Meat. The butcher weighs meat. Gotcha.
19. 12, of course. There are 12 of *anything* in a dozen.
20. Same as it is now: Bill Clinton.
And you thought you knew everything.....
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Sat May 08 1999 - 09:00:02 EDT