Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Mon, 05 Jul 1999 10:07:13 -0400
"Never Sick"
Grandma Jones from the valley had never
experienced a sick day in her life, so she
didn't take it kindly when a bad case of the
mulligrubs sent her to the hospital for
observation.
By the time a pair of husky interns got
Grandma tucked into bed, she had managed
to complain about everything: the temperature,
the lights, the skimpy gown, the food and the
mattress, especially, the mattress.
Suddenly, Grandma spotted a small plastic
item with a button, attached to a cord.
"What's that?" she demanded.
"If you need anything in the middle of the night,
Grandma," said one of the interns, "just press
that button."
"What does it do, ring a bell?" she asked.
"No, it turns on a light in the hall for the nurse
on duty," the intern replied.
"A light in the hall?" responded Grandma. "Look,
I'm the sick one around here. If the night nurse
needs a light on in the hall, she can get up and
switch it on herself."
************************************************************
"You Are Doing What?"
(This true story is being told by Warren)
This story is true and cracks me up every time
I think of it. My 85 year old mother had been in
hospital for a month. My wife and I visited her
every nite so had gotten to be well known by
hospital employees. Mom's room was on
opposite end of building from entrance. As we
walked past the employees, they would say
hello, and we could hear them laugh after we
passed. After the tenth time or so, we became
puzzled on why they all laughed or giggled.
When we arrived at her room, we could see
that she had on a sort of straight jacket with
her hands tied to sides of bed. She could turn
from side to side but could not get out of bed.
Shortly the head nurse came to door and called
for me to come outside. She explained that
Mom wouldn't stay in bed, and that they were
afraid she would hurt herself in roving the hospital.
She said that she had heard a loud noise coming
from Mom's room and raced down to check.
Mom had turned on her side with her bare rump
facing the door and was stuck in that position.
Hospital gowns being skimpy didn't cover any of
her lower body.
The nurse said, "Mrs. Smith, what are you doing?"
Mom replied, "I am taking your picture."
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Tue Jul 06 1999 - 09:00:02 EDT